What's in a Name?: How to Identify the Right Childcare Provider for Your Family

by: Steven Lampert

When you begin your search for a childcare provider, particularly if you are using an online nanny site, you will quickly find that there are many different terms that are used within the industry, including "nanny," "babysitter," "au pair," and "home childcare provider." These terms may not always be used correctly by a childcare provider, but it is important to understand the true definitions of each and what they mean for your family. Babysitter A childcare provider labeling him or herself as a babysitter tends to be a young person who is available to watch children on occasion, usually in the evening or on weekends. The babysitter may also simply be someone with limited time to offer childcare services and may or may not have a great deal of experience in home childcare. This person may not charge very much for the services offered, but if a family is looking for a nanny to take care of children on a regular basis, this is not the right type of candidate for that situation. However, for the family that would only need a childcare provider for special circumstances, a babysitter may be worth investigating further. Nanny A family needing extensive home childcare services will ideally focus on listings for nannies. A nanny is traditionally a childcare provider with two or more years of experience and possibly a college degree related to childcare as well. This person will have references that can easily be checked relating to previous home childcare positions and can offer a great deal of stability to a household. A family with a newborn is likely to be particularly drawn to a nanny, as she may have experience that goes beyond that of the new parents and can be very helpful in the first few months of being home with the baby. Families can find live-in or live-out nannies, as well as nannies who are available every day of the week or who are available limited days. Many nannies will also be able to handle light chores related to the children, while some nannies will also offer a full complement of housekeeping and cleaning services in addition to home childcare. Nannies encompass the broadest category of childcare provider but the designation is also the one that means the most to a searching family. Au Pair An au pair, by definition, is a foreign student who has come to the United States on a specific visa to work as a childcare provider for a specific period of time - usually one year. Hiring an au pair can bring a new culture and new language to a family's home, making this an appealing home childcare option for many families. However, it is important to use caution when answering the ad of someone advertising herself as an "au pair" on an online nanny or au pair service. A childcare provider who is advertising her services on a listing site by calling herself an au pair is likely to have completed her accepted time in the United States (and so may have great childcare skills and references) but is now looking to stay in the U.S. beyond her visa, either legally or, possibly, illegally. In addition, this type of au pair may not say up front what her intentions are for staying in the U.S. - she may be looking to settle down in the country permanently, and thus might be an acceptable choice for a family in need of home childcare services - but she may also be looking simply to extend her stay by a few months, which would mean that at the end of the time she would be leaving the family to start the search process over from the beginning. The bottom line is that if a family wishes to hire an au pair as their childcare provider, it is best for them to go through the licensed au pair agencies that exist and that can handle the paperwork and the legalities of the process, rather than to find an au pair independently listing herself online. Daycare or Home Childcare Provider Finally, when searching an online listing site, a family may come across someone listing him or herself as a daycare provider. This means that the person is offering home childcare at his or her residence, rather than at the family's home. The most important thing to find out in considering this type of childcare provider is if the person is licensed. If he or she is not licensed, the family should walk away. An unlicensed daycare provider may offer the lowest rates, but he or she also brings the highest amount of risk. In addition, even if licensed, a daycare provider must be investigated thoroughly in terms of credibility and trustworthiness, particularly if he or she will be looking after a pre-verbal child. When dealing with this type of potential home childcare provider, not only should references be checked, but the family should also visit the daycare provider's facility - possibly multiple times - to assess the situation. Conclusion When searching for a childcare provider, families must be careful to understand the terms that are used to describe different types of positions. Most families will be looking for a nanny - someone with experience who provides home childcare at the family's home - but there are other home childcare options available that should be investigated as well. With careful, in-depth research on each childcare provider before making a final decision, a family is sure to find home childcare that fits in perfectly with its needs.

About The Author
Steven Lampert is the president of eNanny Source, an online nanny service that brings together families and nannies. Lampert previously ran a successful, award-winning nanny agency in a major city for over 10 years, during which time he worked with thousands of families and nanny candidates. Through this experience, he became familiar with the important steps in a nanny search, which he continues to apply to his business today. To learn more, please visit http://www.enannysource.com.

Video Game Addiction Equals Babies Starving

by: Kirk Jensen

Young couple accused of neglecting young children to surf the Web and play computer video games. In Reno, Nevada a couple authorities say were so obsessed the the Internet and computer video games that they left babies starving, suffering other health problems have pleaded guilty to child neglect. Michael and Iana Straw had two children, a girl ll months old and a boy 22 month old. Authorities found these two children very malnourished and near death last month after social working took them to a hospital. According to prosecutor Kelli Ann Viloria the children are doing much better, gaining weight and are in foster care. "Michael Straw, 25, and Iana Straw, 23, pleaded guilty Friday to two counts each of child neglect. Each faces a maximum 12-year prison sentence." According to prosecutor Viloria the couple was too distract by online computer video games, namely the fantasy role playing "Dungeons & Dragons" series, to give their children proper care. “They had food; they just chose not to give it to their kids because they were too busy playing video games,” Viloria told Reno's local publication. The status of the Children when found. When police found the girl and took her to the hospital the staff there had to shave her hair because it was matted with cat urine. "The 10-pound girl also had a mouth infection, dry skin and severe dehydration." The brother was also treated for starvation as well as a genital infection, because of a lack in muscle development he had difficulties walking, investigators say. The father, "Michael Straw is an unemployed cashier, and his wife worked for a temporary staffing agency doing warehouse work, according to court records." Michael received $50,000 from inheritance that "he spent on computer equipment and a large plasma television, authorities said." American Medical Association ponder Video game addiction "While child abuse because of drug addiction is common, abuse rooted in video game addiction is rare, Viloria said." Last month, doctors at an American Medical Association dismissed having video game addiction as a mental disorder, stating more research need to be done. Some argued it was like alcoholism while other felt there was solid evidence that is was a psychological disease. It is hard to know whether or not video game addiction is a true psychological disorder. It is very possible, seeing people pull all nighters playing computer video games, pausing only to use the bathroom, not even eating is problem in this writers mind. For more articles like this one please go to http://www.gameznstuff.net/blogs.html

About The Author
Kirk Jensen Owner of: http://www.gameznstuff.com http://www.gameznstuff.net

Raise Your Kids Right

by: James Kronefield

To Get What You Expect Your parenting style is the most likely way you will impact how your child grows up. In being responsive to your children, you are simultaneously setting clear rules and limits for your children. This is crucial for you as a parent. You have likely based on this, identified the four main styles of parenting. There is no “right” or “wrong” parenting style and more to the point, there is more than one right way, though we all have prejudices on what we think works best based on our own life experience and values. Research, however, has charted the effects of the various parenting styles on children: Just do it or else! Many parents adopt a highly authoritarian, dictatorial style of parenting. They expect children to simply obey orders with no questions. Rules typically are well defined in such households and breaking those rules ultimately invites punishment. This type of system is highly typical in societies where little to no change is expected and deviance from this normal behaviour can be quite costly such as in rural or agrarian society. Children that have grown up in this type of emotional environment tend to show average performance in school but lack spontaneity, effective social skills, and self-confidence. A no means a no Other parents are firm, assertive, and authoritative without being overly authoritarian. They set very clear rules, and are firm about the discipline without using any harsh punishment. Children in such homes are expected to be are typically are, socially responsible. Children, who are brought up in this type of emotional environment tend to become more responsible. They highly capable and easily adjust to situations that demand cooperation. Do anything you want Parents engaging in this style of parenting believe in the permissive or indulgent approach. They demand very little responsible behaviour and frequently avoid confrontation with their children. This style was more popular with parents in the 50s and 60s. Children who are brought up in this type of emotional environment tend to be more creative but some research indicates they may develop behavioural problems as they grow up because they tend not to accept responsibility. I don't care what you do Very rarely parents remain uninvolved in their children’s lives, which can in many cases, border on neglect. Children who are brought up in this type of emotional environment tend to perform poorly at school and frequently engage in criminal behaviour. Jim Corbett

About The Author
James Kronefield Do you need family and parenting advices? Get them at http://modernsocietyissues.com/

Toddlers – Planning a Vacation with Kids

by: Spiffy Baby

Got Toddlers? Got Chaos! Planning any kind of trip with toddlers can be complicated. There are certain things to keep in mind that might help preserve your sanity and possibly even let you have a little bit of fun together as a family. Arrive Leisurely Traveling with a toddler can take a toll on even the most patient parent. If you are flying, the experience can be exciting and will keep them occupied for about ten minutes before your little one is ready to start a full-scale exploration effort. In an airplane you do have the opportunity to get up and move around – take a trip to the restroom or, pilot willing, consider a trip to the cockpit. Car rides can be complicated as well. Fortunately, toddlers are great at napping in the car, so you might consider leaving right before naptime and letting your enthusiastic one sleep the first couple of hours. A lot of parents also drive in the evening in hopes of a sleepy car ride for longer than a few hours. While your toddler is awake, consider a favorite video, toys (http://www.spiffybaby.com/Toys-Playtime-p-1-c-5.html), books, coloring, action figures, snacks and anything else you can think of to keep them entertained. Plan on plenty of stops along the way to get out, change diapers and stretch legs. Rushing to get anywhere just makes things more stressful, so don’t get in a hurry. Maintain a Routine Your toddler probably has a nice nap routine at home, and vacation is not a time to wing it. If your little one naps at noon every day, move mountains to help them nap at noon on the road. Take a break in the hotel room or alternate separate parent activities so someone is there to help even the most reluctant toddler take a break in a busy day. Try to keep bedtime reasonably close to normal, too – a tired toddler is not a toddler that travels well. Keep it Loose If you are a scheduling fanatic when it comes to travel, toddler travel may not be for you. Plan activities with plenty of cushion time in between. Toddlers aren’t able to appreciate fine architecture, but they love a good fountain or the local zoo. Find activities that have a little bit of something for everyone – zoos, parks, beaches, hikes, wildlife, etc… Mix “grown-up” activities in with toddler activities to give everyone something to look forward to. You might also want to pick a few of the most important landmarks to see and leave the rest for when your child has an attention span longer than fifteen minutes. Above all, just remember that this should be fun for everyone – even if you never leave the hotel pool!

About The Author
http://www.SpiffyBaby.com/ is a luxurious online children's store specializing in upscale baby gifts and stylish toys, European designer children clothing and shower presents. Offering its customers beautiful selection of elegant baby jewelry, baby nursery bedding and natural skin care products.

Raising Your "Spirited Child", Without Going off the Parenting Deep End!

by: Kelly Nault Matzen

Over 200 pairs of eyes are glued to me as a spirited child screams, "ORDER ME MY MEAL NOW!" This child has refused to order his own hamburger (as he has done many times before) and when I calmly tell him he can either order it himself, or go home without his burger, he goes completely berserk. Yes, I have entered into a “food fare nightmare"—with my formidable opponent, an eight year old child. I feel my cheeks flush as public onlookers wait in complete stunned silence to see who will win—the big one or the little one? The Four Parenting Keys to Taming Your Spirited Child Surprisingly, over my years as a family counselor, I have come to love working with spirited children. These children have a fire in their belly, a spark in their eye and a feisty attitude that assures their future in walking to the beat of their own drum instead of blindly following the crowd—a trait many parents hope for during the teen years. Yet that day in the food fare I was worn out, embarrassed and on the verge of saying "I quit!" Raising your spirited child can be exhausting. Fortunately for me, I learned some commonsense parenting tools that eliminated nearly all future fights. Allow me to share some of these parenting tips that can support your efforts in taming your spirited child. Raising your spirited child with these four parenting tips can help you navigate the emotional mine field successfully: 1. Use consistency. Follow through on EVERYTHING you say. Spirited children are gifted at manipulating "chances" and finding loopholes to obtaining exactly what they want. Hold your ground as calmly and firmly as possible—whatever you do, don’t back down. 2. Talk less and act more. This works well, because when you get into a debate with a spirited child you are certain to lose! This is why in my "food fare nightmare" example above I gave two simple options; to order the hamburger or go home without it (the talking less part); and then silently waited (the action part). 3. Develop patience. Waiting out a fight without saying anything (especially if a temper tantrum erupts in public) can be one of the most difficult, yet important, things you ever do as a parent. Spirited children are bright—they know that the biggest weapon in their arsenal is to push your embarrassment button. Swallow your pride—do not cave in just because you think you look bad in public. Remember if you cave in, your child will learn to use this trump card every time they want their way in a public setting. 4. Take time out for yourself. Parenting children is exhausting (especially a feisty child). Find little ways to take time out yourself (share child care with a friend, hire a babysitter more, use extra hours at daycare) so you will have more energy and patience to draw from during the trying situations. What Does the Future Hold for Your Spirited Child? These commonsense parenting tools tame the negative opposition, but let their beautiful spirit flourish. If you attempt to use traditional discipline practices and make your child do what you want, you face an un-winnable uphill battle. Fortunately, commonsense parenting does not mean letting your child get away with murder! A commonsense approach uses firm boundaries, mutual respect and discipline—teaching a child to naturally learn and grow from their mistakes rather than fight you every step of the way. In the midst of your next fight, you may wonder if there will be an end to the madness. I am here to tell you that there will be a resolution to your current dramas. In my case, these tips allowed me to triumph and actually enjoy raising a spirited child. This same child who gave award-winning temper tantrum performances in public and could bring me to my knees is now a responsible, respectful and enjoyable 17 year old college student whose year ahead is completely paid by scholarships won. For me and him, we both won in the end. May it also be the same for you. When taming your spirited child remember to keep the faith, learn commonsense parenting tips and know that eventually if you follow the basic principles above "this too shall pass."

About The Author
Kelly Nault-Matzen, MA, family counselor, corporate parenting spokesperson and award winning parenting author of When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You shares time-tested tools that motivate children to want to be well behaved, responsible and happy! To gain access to more parenting tools and to access your free online parenting course visit http://www.ultimateparenting.com

How To Choose A Baby Monitor

by: Tom Hackett

With hundreds of different models, it’s hard to choose the right one. Factors such as your location and lifestyle will influence your decision. Do you need audio/video or audio only? 40 MHZ or 90 MHZ? Read on to find out. The baby monitor is a wonderful invention that allows you to listen for your baby’s cries or movements without actually going into their room. Baby monitors are very useful when your baby wakes up in the middle of the night. You can hear his cries when he needs feeding or changing. Baby monitors are also very helpful during the day when your baby is napping. They give you the freedom to go on the opposite end of the house, hang out laundry, etc. Usually, a baby monitor is used by placing the transmitter close to your babies crib so it picks up his sounds. The receiver is then placed in the area that you will be in, such as next to your bed. Many brands of baby monitors are able to run off of batteries, this way they are portable and can be carried on your belt. Some models even have night vision cameras and lcd monitors so you can see your baby. This gives you added comfort knowing exactly how your baby is doing. Movement sensors are another option. These work with a pad that is placed under your baby while they sleep. If no movement is detected, an alarm sounds. Some monitors even allow you to monitor your baby’s temperature while they sleep. A monitor with more than one receiver can be handy as well. This way, one unit can be stationary and the other portable. The monitors can then be switched when the portable’s battery get low. Sometimes you can’t hear your baby’s cries or movements due to noise or other children. In this case a monitor wit a sound activated light is handy. You know immediately when your child is moving because the monitor will light up. There are very few drawbacks to baby monitors. Sometimes, the signal of other baby monitors can be picked up if they are in close enough range. This also works the other way around, so always be aware of conversations when your monitor is on if your concerned about privacy. Sometimes cordless phones can interfere with the reception on your monitor as well. Monitors with low battery indicators are also handy. If you use the batteries most often this is a good choice. When the low-battery light comes on it gives you plenty of time to replace then before they die completely. When trying to decide on what bandwidth is best for you, first consider where you live. If you live in the country a wider bandwidth (up to 90MHZ) is great for better clarity. If you live in the city where there is a lot of interference such as cell phones, other baby monitors, portable phones, or cement walls, a lower bandwidth (40MHZ) may be a better option. Regardless of what monitor you choose remember to always follow the manufactures instructions. Never put a baby monitor directly in your baby’s crib or where your baby can reach it. The cord can get wrapped around their neck. Hopefully, this great invention will make parenting just a little bit easier. Good luck!

About The Author
Tom Hackett is a dedicated father of 2 who runs an e-commerce website offering baby resources and award winning, safety products and learning products for babies, toddlers, and small children. You may visit his website at http://www.yourbabysupply.com/

Using baby sign language to help encourage your baby's speech

by: Jackie Durnin

Baby sign language has been shown to very beneficial to a baby’s language development. So much so, that the typical language parameters of children are changing thanks to a child’s ability to express themselves through baby sign from as early as 6 months of age. So how can a parent know if their child’s language, listening and speech skills are developing normally? All children develop their language, listening and speech skills at different rates. Below you will find a chart based on a non-signing child’s typical language development but this does not take into consideration the use of baby sign language with children. Please note that this table is a guide only. Your Child’s Age Typical Language Development:- By Age One: Turns head toward the source of the sound. Watches your face when you speak. Responds to familiar sounds such as the car in the driveway, the dog barking, the door bell ringing, the telephone ringing etc. Responds to their name. Understands simple instructions such as “no”. Tries to repeat your sounds or familiar sounds from their environment. Uses one or more word with meaning. Babbles (says "ba-ba" or "ma-ma"). ____________________________________________ By 17 Months: Points to objects, pictures & people. Most vocabulary is mainly nouns ie. People, place, animal or thing. Tries to imitate easy words. By The Age of Two Points and says the name to simple body parts such as “nose”. Starts to combine words such as “more milk”. Can name a number of objects in their environment. Can use some pronouns such as “He”, “My” or “I”. However “My” & “I” often get confused. Understands simple sentences such as "show me your eyes (nose, mouth, hair)". ____________________________________________ By Age Three: Speech is more accurate and they can be understood by familiar adults. Uses three to four word sentences. Is using some past tense such as “jumped”. Uses pronouns I, you, me correctly. Recognises their own needs such as hunger or thirst. Have favourite books and television shows. Knows around three prepositions such as “in”, “on” or “under”. Is using some plurals such as “socks” or “shoes”. So how does baby sign language change the above milestones? The main difference is your baby’s ability to begin communicating through sign earlier than their vocal skills will allow them. By the age of two, while non-signing babies are combining words such as “more milk”, parents of signing babies have experienced two-word communication through baby sign language as early as 14 months of age. This is a 10-month gap in communication. Dr Acredolo & Dr Goodwyn further highlighted these benefits in a study where three-year-old signing children had developed the language and vocabulary skills to a four-year-old. This does not mean that a signing baby will necessarily speak earlier than a non signing baby but that they will have the ability to communicate their thoughts, wants and needs through sign while being pre-verbal. This ability for children to communicate their needs and wants causes children to be less frustrated and research has shown that it has great language development and vocabulary building benefits. Give your child a head start in language development with Australian baby sign language.

About The Author
Jackie Durnin has helped thousands of families reduce frustration with their pre-verbal babies around Australia using simple baby sign language. For more information on bay sign language visit http://www.australianbabyhands.com

Teen & Parent Chat: 6 Ways To Communicate Clearly With Your Teen

by: Christine McGogy

Hi Parents, How would you like to have a closer relationship with your teen again? Your ability to communicate effectively with your teen is one of the most precious skills you can develop to achieve this goal. When we think of communication, we tend to think only of the way we can express ourselves. While that is certainly important, listening is the single most crucial of all communication skills. As a mother of two teenage boys, I know that it isn't always easy to communicate well with your teen. It's particularly frustrating when they aren't talking to you. However, when I started applying these techniques to our lives, I found that we started getting along better almost immediately. With less arguing between us, our relationship became stronger. 1. Make Your Teen Your Focus Give your teens your full attention. I know that this is a toughie, because we tend to be so busy. It seems as if we are always multi-tasking. However, it is important in clear communicating that you make a point of stopping what you are doing and really listen to your teens (rather than just hearing him). When you give your teens your undivided attention, they will know that you care, because you took the time to listen, thereby increasing the chances that they will listen to you. 2. Get the Details Hear what your teen is really saying! Teens tend to give terse answers to questions, leaving out details that may be important. It's up to you to be able to get them to open up and draw them into a conversation. Here is an example: Teen: "I hate my teacher!" Parent: "Oh, you don't really mean that!" Teen: "Yes, I do. I double hate him!" Parent: "Well, I don't want to hear that kind of talk. I am sure you don't really hate him!" Teen: "Yes, I do so. I hate all teachers!" Parent: "Do you think hating your teachers is going to get you a good mark?" And on and on the arguing goes…. Here’s an alternative: Teen: "I hate my teacher!" Parent: "Wow, you don't normally hate anybody. What did he do to get you talking like that?" Teen: "A couple of kids didn't have their homework finished again today, so he decided to punish all of us by giving us a math test tomorrow!" Parent: "That doesn't sound very fair!" Teen: "No, it isn't fair at all. I wanted to go over to Rachel's tonight to hang out and listen to music. Instead I have to study for that stupid test. I am so mad at my teacher! He ruins everything!" Parent: (Just listening.) This teen was able to express herself, and she felt validated by her parent. You will notice that the parent didn't argue about the feelings the teen had. The parent listened and was not judgmental. You don't have to agree with your teen’s feelings. You only need to acknowledge them. There is no such thing as a wrong feeling. We can’t help what our teens may feel. We should set limits, however, on behaviors that don’t conform to what we consider to be appropriate behavior. Expressing one's feelings is a healthy thing; although negative expressions of one’s feelings should be avoided, such as screaming or name calling. A good way to avoid this is using time-outs--wait and continue the conversation when everybody has calmed down. 3. Open-Ended Questions Questions can be crucial to communicating with your teens. Ask questions that they can't answer with only a yes or a no. For example in the above scenario the parent could ask the teen, "What could you do to help your teacher change his mind about the test?" Teen: "I am not sure. This guy is so stubborn!" Parent: "What if you talk to him and come up with better ways for him to deal with the kids that aren't doing their homework?" Teen: "Mmhhh, maybe I could give it a try." 4. Criticize Behavior, Not Your Teen Moving from the listening to the talking part of communication, your focus shifts. When you want to see a change in your teens’ behavior, using the following structure can be very helpful. “When you______, I feel______, because I need______.” This wording (known as “I“ message) doesn't attack your teens’ personality. Instead it merely talks about an action of theirs that you'd like to change and why. Here is a scenario you might relate to: The chores were not done. Your teen went out instead. This example does not show the best way of communicating. It is a personal attack and makes statements you may not stick to anyway. Parent: "You didn't do your chores! You are such a lazy slob! You never do your chores, and I always have to do them for you. Next time you don't do them, I am going to ground you for a week! Teen: (Feels pretty lousy.) Now here is an example using the “I” technique: Parent: "When you didn't do your chores before going out, I felt really mad. We had an agreement about chores being done before going out, and I need you to do your part of the chores, or I am stuck doing them for you.” Teen: (Thinking.) “I guess that makes sense.” Remember when you start a sentence with “You are such and such,” you aren’t communicating. You are criticizing! 5. Let the Consequence Fit the Action A fairly big problem that parents run into is looking for suitable punishment for broken rules. However, the penalty applied usually isn't related to the teens’ action. As parents, we need to show our teens that each choice they make has consequences, but the discipline needs to be appropriate. Parents tend to punish their teens by taking away something the adolescent enjoys, for example no TV for a week. Let’s take the earlier example of the chores not being done, such as the laundry left in a heap. It would be more beneficial to the development of your teen if you base the penalty on a natural connection between his action and the punishment. A good way of showing the consequences to his action in this instance would be having him do your laundry as well as his next time, since you had to do his this time. When following such a step, you are practicing "silent communication". This means letting him experience the natural consequences of his actions. This technique speaks louder than any words ever could. It illustrates to all people that they will be held accountable for what they do. As they grow, teens tend to receive more privileges from parents. It is important for them to realize that more responsibility goes along with the extra freedom. 6. Using Descriptive Praise We all praise our teen sometimes. We tell them, "You are a smart kid.” Perhaps you might say, "You are a good piano player.” We mean well, but unfortunately this kind of praise doesn't bring the desired effect of making your teen feel good about himself. Why is that? It is because what we are doing is evaluating their actions. With this type of praise, we aren’t giving evidence to support our claims, and this makes the praise fall flat and seem empty and unconvincing. We need to describe in detail what they are doing. As your teen recognizes the truth in your words, he can then evaluate his actions and credit himself where he feels the praise has merit. Here is an example with evaluating praise: Teen: "Hey, Ma, I got a 90 on my geometry test!" Parent: "Fantastic! You are a genius!" Teen: (Thinking) "I wish. I only got it 'cause Paul helped me study. He is the genius." Here is an example with descriptive praise: Teen: "Hey, Ma, I got a 90 on my geometry test!" Parent: "You must be so pleased. You did a lot of studying for that test!" Teen: (Thinking) "I can really do geometry when I work at it!" Describing your teens’ action rather then evaluating them with an easy "good" or "great" or labeling them with "slow learner" or "scatterbrain" isn't easy to do at first, because we are all unaccustomed to doing that. However, once you get into the habit of looking carefully at your teen's action and putting into words what you see, you will do it more and more easily and with growing pleasure. Adolescents need the kind of emotional nourishment that will help them become independent, creative thinkers and doers, who aren't looking to others for approval all the time. With this sort of praise, teens will trust themselves, and they won’t need everybody else's opinion to tell them how they are doing. Another challenging problem concerns when and how we criticize our teens. Instead of pointing out what's wrong with your teen’s actions, try describing what is right followed by what still needs doing. Example: Your teen hasn't done his laundry yet. Parent: "How is the laundry coming? Teen: "I am working on it." Parent: "I see that you picked up your clothes in your room and in the family room and put it in the hamper. You are half way there." This parent talks with encouragement, acknowledging what has been done so far, rather then pointing out what hasn't been done yet. For more helpful information and examples on good communication with your child, I highly recommend a book by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish called How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So They Will Talk, published by Harper, ISBN 0380811960. There’s a teen version of the book called How to Talk so Teens Will Listen, ISBN 0060741252. "Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke enough holes in it to drain it dry." - Alvin Price Another great place to find stories that support and encourage your Teen is in the Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul book series authored by Mark Victor Hansen and Debbie Reber. Is your Teen troubled and lacks self-esteem? This article is part of the Teenacity 6-part Teen Chat Guide to help Your Teen feel better about himself and have more confidence. Get your copy free of charge at http://www.teenacity.com/parents.htm and/or have your Teen sign up as well at http://www.teenacity.com!

About The Author
Christine McGogy, mom of two Teens, Founder and Owner of http://Teenacity.com – http://www.teenacity.com . Free Teen Chat Series 6-part guide for Teens “Get What You Want and Break Free”!

Oh, You Are Just Spoiled Rotten!

by: Phil Girouard

If you've ever called your own child spoiled rotten, you should be ashamed of yourself. Call someone else's kid that, no problem, but not your own. Why? Because all we can see of someone else's child is a result, and it may be disturbing. Whereas in your own case, the child is the 'spoilee' and you are the 'spoiler'. OK, perhaps your spouse, but you both have some responsibility in it. Your child is like a dry sponge, with thousands of little cavities waiting to be filled up. And around the child is a world bursting with candy, toys, activities, snacks, TV and computer games all eager to pounce. And who is in the middle? You, the gatekeeper. The key master. The valve. Now, if you think about it, a sponge works so so when it is bone dry. It actually works a little better when slightly damp, but if the valve is broken, the sponge will fill to capacity quickly and become useless. Granted, you can point a finger at your mate. He or she is the one who gives Bobby everything he wants. You've even argued about it from time to time, and the same thing is said every time. "Come on, it's just until 11:00", or "think of how happy it will make him", or "I never got one of these when I was a kid", or "OK, but just this once". Sound familiar? Almost everyone is guilty of this lack of will power to some degree. Unfortunately, if a parent lacks will power, the child will lack even more. This will develop to the point that the child will have no reason to deny him or herself anything. The notion was never passed down from the previous generation. Exercise a little restraint, can't ya? OK, why should anyone deprive themselves of anything? Seems like a reasonable question. Well, for starters, if, in the extreme case, you got everything you asked for, you would never get to the point of truly wanting for something. However, without wanting something you can't have, at least right away, you don't set goals. And without goals you don't get anywhere. You are simply a full, soggy, sponge. In addition, the spoiled rotten trait delivers a one-two punch. The spoiled individual may have little concept of the value of something. And worse still, the idea of having to save up for it and buy it on their own can seem ridiculous. Then there is the issue of generosity. How often is a spoiled individual truly generous? These and more negative characteristics can be attributed to someone who is spoiled rotten. So my point is that as the guardian of all that is innocent and pure, being your child, you have the responsibility to think about such things and teach yourself how to control that which, if left unchecked, might put your child's life out of balance. If discussions with your spouse are called for and may cause some short term distress, better that than passing a bad apple down to your children to make them spoiled rotten. I heard a remarkable phrase recently that I'd like to relate here. It had to do with ecology, global warming etc. "We did not inherit the earth from our parents, we are borrowing it from our children". And, in a way, I see this fitting in that we are the keepers of (their) childhood so that we can give it back healthy and strong.

About The Author
Phil Girouard is a father, coach and published author of several artcles on parenting. His light hearted, almost tongue in cheek, approach helps ease young parents into guiding their gradeschoolers through the many trials of growing up. Phil operates http://www.short-stories-help-children.com

Causes of Bed Wetting: Eat, Drink, and Wet the Bed

by: Sue LaPointe

Well, we're on a roll with causes of bed wetting theories. Here's one that seems to make sense. I'm still pretty much sold on the idea that it's a hereditary issue - but it seems like if there are other causes of bed wetting, they may be more controllable. If it's just heredity, you kind of have to wait it out until your child reaches the pre-set magical age of dryness. By nature not especially patient, the idea of waiting it out doesn't appeal to me. So, here's what I've learned about the food and drink leading to bedwetting theory. Chocolate Oh no! Say it isn't so! Well, actually it's not necessarily the chocolate; it's the caffeine in chocolate that may cause bed wetting. What does caffeine do? It stimulates the body, including the bladder. So that evening cup of cocoa or slice of chocolate cake may be a problem. (Gosh, now I'm craving chocolate!) Soda Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles. Carbonation is rumored to do strange things to immature bladders. Actually, for any adults who drink soda, you know first-hand that a can of Coke is a ticket to the restroom. It's an effect that's compounded by caffeine - and the sugar's probably not helping matters either. Oranges and Grapefruits OK, if you've actually got a child who will eat grapefruit, I'd like to hear about it! But oranges are another story. I get a strange reaction when I eat oranges (and raw cranberries for some reason) - my face gets hot and I feel kind of funky. So, I'm assuming it's possible to be allergic to citrus. The citric acid is the most likely culprit. Try cutting back on the orange juice and citrus in your child's diet to see what happens. Spicy Stuff There are some spices out there that could probably be rated pharmaceutical grade. Think of the effect Chinese mustard has on your nose! No doubt some of these spices have an equivalent effect on the bladder. Salsa, Asian food, and other hot, hot, hot foods may be contributing to the bedwetting problem. Food Allergies I've heard of people whose children are allergic to everything from eggs to wheat, and have to say that dealing with bedwetting is nothing compared to the trouble they have to go through just to feed their children. Couple a serious food allergy with bedwetting, and it's enough to make you want to retreat to the bath tub for the next ten years! Some allergies cause bladder spasms - which of course, means a bedwetting accident. It's not just food, either. Some people are really sensitive to preservatives, dyes, and other additives. It doesn't seem that the only effect of a food allergy would be bedwetting, though. So don't throw out all your groceries just yet. But if your child has multiple challenges, it's something to consider. You may have to shop around for an allergist - so be prepared. So what do you do if you discover your child's bedwetting problem is caused by a food sensitivity? It's not like being allergic to a cat - get some shots or send Fluffy to live with Grandma. You'll have to enroll your child's compliance on this (so what else is new?). Get your child to see the value, the what's-in-it-for-me of staying away from what may be a favorite food. Dry nights are pretty valuable - and your child may come to see the tradeoff as worthwhile. The sensitivity may be temporary, too - and that should help. After all, just the thought of never being able to eat chocolate is cruel and unusual punishment.

About The Author
Sue LaPointe is the owner of http://www.bedwettinghelpformoms.com - a site aimed at encouraging, supporting, and educating parents of bedwetters. Request your copy of the free report “Got a Bedwetter? Top 10 Mistakes to Avoid.”